What is Family Whispering?

family-reunion-clipart2On page 10 of the book, you’ll find this brief definition: “Family whispering means tuning in, observing, listening, and understanding from the whole family’s perspective.”
I know from my own life, as do you, that family shapes us and, at the same time, we shape it.  Watching the process unfold is fascinating and informative. Family whispering gives you a front-row seat.
Family whispering is a mind set, not another “style” of parenting.

Family whisperers don’t ask what they can do to better their children. They ask, “How do we make our families better?” Everyday acts and random conversations are rich with information about yourself and your loved ones.

Family whispering is a practice.

Like yoga or meditation, you can study it and get better. While learning to see and think differently, you develop a skill set of “family-focused” ideas and strategies that can be tailored to what your particular family needs.

Family whispering acknowledges a dual reality.

There is an “I” in family–the individuals matter–but so does the “We.” We accept and celebrate our loved ones for who they are and, at the same time, work together to “run” and protect the family unit.  Like the adults in the household, children (to the best of their age and ability), become “stakeholders. With parents’ guidance, they help manage and participate in family “business.”

Family whisperers get “good” at relationships–a skill that makes life go better.

They listen consciously and react thoughtfully, asking themselves, “Is what I’m about to say or do good for the relationship?” Each person strives to “get REAL” be Responsible, Empathetic, Authentic, and Lead with love.

Family whispering reminds us that we always have a choice.

We can’t control what life throws at us, only how we respond to it. We can work on reducing negativity in our households. We can exercise self-control. We can recite an “exit speech” rather than engage at the wrong time. And when the everyday grind feels oppressive, when guilt gets the best of us or change rocks the whole family, we can slow down. We can handle life together.