I’m a child of divorce. My husband and I have 3 year old twins. This will be our fifth Father’s Day together, and I’m dreading it…once again. Between us we have three “fathers” – two biological fathers and my step-dad. My father left when I was twelve, and lived far away from our family until last year. He is getting older, apparently has some regrets, and says he wants to be closer to the boys. I’m trying to trust him, because I’d like him in my life, but I’m skeptical and still angry at him. My step-dad has been more like a real father to me, and since my mother’s death last year, he’s alone. My husband isn’t particularly close to his parents, who live an hour away, but he feels he “owes” it to his dad to spend Father’s Day with him. How do we make everyone happy?
Your situation is not just because of divorce. It’s familiar to most married couples who have at least two dads to consider on Father’s Day. However, you’re also dealing with past hurts that obviously cause you pain. Still, this Father’s Day doesn’t have to be a disaster.
First, stop thinking of yourself as a “child of divorce.” You’re an adult. Focus first on what’s best for the family you created. What does Fathers Day mean to you and your husband? Is it a time to honor your fathers or your husband’s new role? Is it also an opportunity for your twins to know their grandfathers? Continue reading article